There are only two words I would use to describe Mario Kart Wii:

Epic Failure

Yesterday I had the chance to play Mario Kart Wii for a few hours and really test the game out. I honestly wish I could have those hours of my life back.

The presentation of the game comes across like they took the DS version of Mario Kart and used that as the graphics engine to design this one. Everything looks blocky and poorly developed (e.g. Yoshi’s nose isn’t round, but a series of flat surfaces. Also his fist looks like a nub that’s had a hand drawn on to it). Some of the maps that they’ve ported over from previous titles in the series actually look worse than on the original. Also, many of the items look like they’ve placed a sticker onto the screen, as it doesn’t even remotely look like it belongs (e.g. Giant cloud item or the squid item).

Even though Mario Kart is a cartoony game, the previous titles felt like you actually needed some skill to play it. The items are pretty much everywhere, to the point where I was hit by 3 blue shells in a row and shrunk at least 4 times in the same match. And the newly added items are just goofy as well, like a mushroom that turns you giant. Mario Kart Wii might as well be the NFL Blitz of the Mario Kart series.

This game really proved that the Wii is simply Gamecube 1.5 at best and that Nintendo has long since past the days where their Seal of Approval meant anything.

Once I get a few more hours with the game, I’ll put up a complete review. So far, the games about as cool as allowing motorcycles to race go-karts.

Oh....wait...